Vetting – Leila Tomasone

How To Find Your Mr. Right By Leaning Back

Ok, you've aleady discovered the incredible power and ease of attraction...

Now get ready for a completely different vision for your dating journey.

You're about to completely reframe what dating is.

You're going to re-envision dating using your new, feminine energy.

Here's what dating is now:

You're like a movie director who's looking for a star for YOUR film.

Here's what I mean:

You're not trying to prove yourself, convince him, keep him, or please him enough for him to move forward. (I get anxious just thinking about how stressful and sad this can be!)

No one wants to be settled for, or be with a man who's always dragging his feet!

So instead of putting in more and more effort with a man, you lean back.

You give him space to convince YOU he's the one for you!

You're staying aligned with your own worthiness for recieving love from an amazing man... and your priceless value to the right man.

You're the prize! You're the goal!

Once you're aligned with your feminine energy, you'll feel a completely new vibe with men.

The Point Of Dating Is To Keep Enjoying Auditions Until You Find Your Man

Ok, so you're staying in your attractive posture and a man asks you out...

Now what?

What does this new dating process look like?

But before we dive in to the dating process with Attraction Alignment, let's take a quick step back.

Here's where we are:

Reawakened Feminine Energy... Check.
Feminine Aligned Interactions With Men (ie Staying Attractive)... Check.
Figuring Out Who's Mr. Right... ???

You'll soon have a new (great!) problem on your hands: finding YOUR perfectly-matched Mr. Right from among the men that have been drawn to you.

Not every man who chases you is a man you'll enjoy, let alone sweep you off your feet.

So here's where the third, critical part of Attraction Alignment comes in to find your Mr. Right:

Vetting.

You might think "Vetting? I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but that sounds a little cold and calculating doesn't it?"

But the truth is, every women "vets" the men in their life.

I just like to be open and honest about it, and I like the classic word 'vetting' for this process...

All it means is "appraising, verifying, or checking something for suitability." In other words, being thoughtfull about finding your Mr. Right!

You can't only use emotions, right? That can lead to big problems!

But you also don't want the opposite problem of being too rational in finding your Mr. Right.

Vetting is the perfect balance of emotional/romantic and rational.

Dating isn't for kicks and giggles... it's to find your sizzling, life-long love!

So we Vet by: accepting auditions, enjoying the auditions, seeing how we feel about them, and sitting back to observe what they say and do.

Approach dating this way turns the tables on typical dating and gives you a new, stress-free approach to dates and makes finding your Mr. Right effortless!

Because men are trying to prove themselves to you, each making the case that he's The One for you.

They're all saying to you "Pick me! Pick me!"

And whoever isn't saying that, it's their loss! Bye bye!

Now let's take this process step by step...

His First Audition (AKA Your First Date)

Saying "yes" to a date means this: you're accepting a request from a man to audition for you... it's you saying "Ok, I'll give you an opportunity to audition for a role in my life."

You're not locked into overly-specific or superficial "must-haves" for who could play that role for you.

You're not limiting yourself to one potential star of your film at a time (why should you commit to one before he "signs on"?)

So if a man is pursuing you, showing initiative, I recommend that women say "yes."

When you're leaned back, staying attractive and open, letting him lead, and not getting invested, dates "cost" you so much less.... Less in effort, in emotions, and in risk of complications.

Plus, you're practicing being open and receptive, which helps you deepen your feminine energy even more.

Besides, you want LOTS of options to choose from.

And you're open to surprises.

Sound fun? It is!

After Your First Date, You Stay In Touch With Yourself And See: Has He EARNED a Second Date With You Or Not?

Directors just let the actor reveal themselves and evaluate afterwards if they like the performance.

So like a good director, with Attraction Alignment you vet men by simply observing his first audition (your first date) and ask yourself afterwards:

How does he treat me?
How does he make me feel?
How attracted am I to him? (Don't be too quick with this one, because even awesome men can take a while to warm up.)

Those questions let him decide for you if he's earned a "Yes" for a second audition or not.

Did he make you want to accept a second audition or not?

Either way is ok, because you're not emotionally invested; you're just at peace in yourself, so declining a second date is easy: "I'm not available anymore."

But unless it's a super obvious "No," I recommend to women I mentor to just relax and enjoy the journey until at least the third date before setting aside some time to evaluate how things are going.

Third Date and Beyond

So after the third date, take some time for yourself to crystallize your experience with him to gain clarity.

Because by then, you have a good amount of experience with him and his character, so you're considering things like this:

How has he responded if he's bumped up against one of my boundaries, and I revealed it to him? Like "I don't do 'girlfriend'... I'm not exclusive until I have a ring on my finger." (His response to your boundaries is a surefire way to discover his true colors, so you don't have to guess.)
How has he reacted when I've revealed my standards? (Like, do you want him to pick you up? Do you want him to pay? Do you want him to open the door? I strongly encourage all these standards, by the way.) Is he energized by meeting your desires, or does he drag his feet?
What actions is he taking toward me? Is he treating me how I want my husband to treat me?
What does he talk about, where does he drive our conversations? (When you just let him speak, you'll see his heart quite clearly and quickly, because "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.")
How has your attraction to him developed or changed since you first met?
How have you been doing at staying in attraction mode, leaning back, and being in your feminine energy? (So you can see his masculine energy in response.)

Notice that vetting is not an active, "probing" examination by you. It's you evaluating a performance from him.

So after considering these sorts of questions, how do you feel about him?

How does he measure up against your boundaries, standards, and requirements?

Has he disqualified himself, or is he still in the running for the role you are wanting in your life?

Do you want to continue to accept his attentions or not?

All The Way? How To Know For SURE

Are you feeling "Yes," or "No?"

Or are you beginning to feel a "Hell Yes!"? (Which is where you want to be!)

Vetting is not "one and done." It's a continuous process of evaluation.

Keeping a leaned-back, attractive energy ensures your relationship progresses in a healthy way and he's the one making your decision for you by showing you that he surpasses your wildest dreams for a man.

You just stay connected to your feminine energy and core desires, maintain your standards and boundaries, express your desires and emotions, and respond to him in a generous feminine way.

This keeps you, the prize, like you're up on the top of a White Tower.

And it lets the man show you if he has what it takes to reach you at the top and make you his.

So you let the vetting process play out all the way to the point you're at "Hell Yes!" and then throw evaluation out the window! Because now, you just relish the journey until he gets down on one knee (because you know he's not messing around!)

And then, when the ring is on your finger, Attraction Alignment is "done."

You've reached your goal. Or, better, your goal has reached you!

But it's also a new beginning:

You and your very own, perfectly-matched Mr. Right are now set up for a rock-solid life of blissful love together...

Because even though you're "done" with Attraction Alignment, everything about yourself you discovered, awakened, and strengthened has already begun building a great marriage with your man.

The healthy, natural dynamics you've put in place in yourself and your relationship will make the fire of love between you burn stronger and stronger as you build your new life together and live happily ever after.

Now I want you to ask yourself:

"Is this the happy ending I want for my own story?"