Vet – Leila Tomasone

Attractive Vetting Strategy Part #2 of 3:

Vet Instead Of Stress

When you lean back in an attractive posture with men instead of chasing, you'll clear the losers out of your way and begin attraction high quality men looking for a woman to win for life-long love. But not every man who chases you is a man you'll be attracted to, let alone sweep you off your feet.

So now what?

You have a new (good!) problem on your hands: finding YOUR perfectly matched Mr. Right.

Here's where the revolutionary "Vetting" part of the Attractive Vetting strategy comes in...

Vetting turns the tables on typical dating and gives you a new, stress-free, heartache-free strategy to dates and makes finding your Mr. Right effortless and even fun!

What Is Vetting?

Vetting means "to examine something or someone carefully to make certain that they are acceptable or suitable."

Now, I agree this doesn't sound very sexy or romantic, so let's spice it up a bit...

What I mean by vetting within the Attractive Vetting strategy is "leaning back and observing a man carefully to see if he's showing me he's truly the man of my dreams, and I'm the woman of his."

Don't get me wrong... there might be an occasion for a purely recreational date.

But isn't dating primarily the process we use to find The One?

It's best to make sure you're open and honest with yourself about this, so you don't get derailed from your true goal.

So if this is you, clarify to yourself "my purpose in dating is to vet men and find the man of my dreams" because then you can be strategic, and eliminate wasted time, heartache, regret, and delayed satisfaction of your desires.

Once you're clear on your purpose in dating, here's the best strategy to put vetting into action:

The Vetting Mindset

You completely reframe your vision of what dating is by using a new, attractive mindset you discovered on the previous page.

So here's what dating is now:

You're like a director who's looking for a star for your film.

Saying "yes" to a date is you accepting a request from a man to audition for you... it's you saying "Ok, I'll give you an opportunity to audition for a role in my life."

You're not begging for actors, or desparate to sign the first one that comes along. You're waiting for your star to show himself and prove he's the one for the role.

Here's what I mean:

In dating, you're simply leaning back and giving him space to convince YOU he's the one for you!

You're not trying to prove yourself, convince him, keep him, or please him enough for him to move forward. This is a recipe for 24/7 STRESS! No thanks!

He's auditioning for you, not the other way around. You're the prize! You're the goal!

Why is this so important to find life-long love?

Because a masculine man doesn't want you to win him, he longs to win you. He longs to truly earn your acceptance and approval.

He wants to be proud to show you off as the prize who's acceptance he's won by his own efforts.

So what does he need from you? Just two simple things:

1) Your attention. (So turn off your busy mind, relax, and enjoy the audition.)

2) Space to "show his stuff." (So get out of the way, stay attractive and let him show himself.)

And remember, you want lots of options to chose from, so you're not limiting yourself to one actor at a time (why should you commit to one before he signs on?)

Plus, a good director is not locked into overly-specific or superficial must-haves for who could play a role, so you're open to surprises.

Sound fun? It is!

What Vetting Looks Like

Remember, directors just let the actor reveal themselves and evaluate afterwards if the performance has won the role.

So like a good director, with Attractive Vetting you vet men by simply observing his first audition (your first date) and ask yourself afterwards:

How does he treat me?
How does he make me feel?
How attracted am I to him? (Don't be too quick with this one, because even awesome men can take a while to warm up.)

Those questions let him decide for you if he's earned a "Yes" for a second audition or not.

No need for stressing about what you need to say or do. He can request a second audition, or not. And then you consult yourself: Did he make you want to accept a second audition or not?

Either way is great, because you're not emotionally invested; you're just at peace in yourself, so declining a second date is easy: "I'm not available anymore."

But unless it's a super obvious "No," I recommend to women I mentor to just relax and enjoy the journey until at least the third date before setting aside some time to evaluate how things are going.

So after the third date, take some time for yourself to crystallize your experience with him to gain clarity.

Because by then, you have a good amount of information about him and his character, so you're considering things like this:

How has he responded if he's bumped up against one of my boundaries, and I revealed it to him? Like "I don't do 'girlfriend'... I'm not exclusive until I have a ring on my finger." (His response to your boundaries is a surefire way to discover his true colors, so you don't have to guess.)
How has he reacted when I've revealed my standards? (Like, do you want him to pick you up? Do you want him to pay? Do you want him to open the door?) Is he energized by meeting your desires, or does he drag his feet?
What actions is he taking toward me? Is he treating me how I want my husband to treat me?
What does he talk about, where does he drive our conversations? (When you just let him speak, you'll see his heart quite clearly and quickly, because "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.")
How has your attraction to him developed or changed since you first met?
How have you been doing at staying in attraction mode, leaning back, and being in your feminine energy? (So you can let him reveal his true self to you, and you can see him clearly.)

Notice vetting is not an active, "probing" examination by you.

You're not stressing about what you're next move should be, or what you need to learn about him.

In fact, if you try to actively "figure him out," you'll end up getting a very distorted and inaccurate picture of his character, because he'll be responding to your questions instead of naturally revealing himself.

In short, vetting is you calmly evaluating a performance from him.

So after considering the questions above, how do you feel about him?

How does he measure up against your boundaries, standards, and requirements?

Has he disqualified himself, or is he still in the running for the role you are wanting to fill?

Do you want to continue to accept his attentions or not?

Vetting is not "one and done," it's a continuous process of evaluation.

Is He Mr. Right? How To Know For SURE

Vetting turns you into your own perfect matchmaker because there's no guessing. No predicting. No blind hoping.

He's leading the whole time, and you just observe. So the only question you have is: "Is he leading me toward the life and relationship I want?"

The vetting strategy natural reveals to you a man's true character and goals, because you actually see him in action, making or not making the effort to win your approval.

Vetting is the best "try before you buy" strategy for women.

As you attract men, go on dates, lean back, and hold your boundaries, some men will drop off naturally.

Some will gradually reveal they don't meet your standards.

But as a relationship continues and progresses, you stay in touch with yourself and keep the previous questions in mind.

And you ask yourself, are you feeling "Yes," or "No?"

Or are you beginning to feel a "Hell Yes!"? (Which is where you want to be!)

Keeping a leaned-back, attractive energy ensures your relationship progresses in a healthy way and he's the one making the decision for you.

You just stay connected to your desires, maintain your standards and boundaries, express your desires and emotions, and respond to him in a generous, attractive way.

This keeps you, the prize, like you're up on the top of a White Tower.

And it lets the man show you if he has what it takes to reach you at the top and make you his.

So you let the vetting process play out all the way to the point you're at "Hell Yes!"

And then, you just relish the journey until he gets down on one knee (because you know he's not messing around!)

And when the ring is on your finger, Attractive Vetting is done.

You've reached your goal. Or, better, your goal has reached you!

But it's also a new beginning:

You and your very own, perfectly-matched Mr. Right are now set up for a rock-solid life of blissful love together...

Because even though you're "done" with Attractive Vetting, everything about yourself you discovered, awakened, and strengthened has already begun building a great marriage with your man.

The healthy, natural dynamics you've put in place in yourself and your relationship will make the fire of love between you burn stronger and stronger as you build your new life together and live happily ever after.

Now I want you to ask yourself:

"Is this the happy ending I want for my own story?"