magic wall archive – Leila Tomasone

With Attractive Vetting You First Build a "Magic Wall" (And It Only Takes 1 Second)

The Attractive Vetting approach to dating starts with a specific way to flex your feminine energy and get IMMEDIATE benefits in your dating life.

It's called the Magic Wall.

Your "Magic Wall" can automatically screen out losers (without you even needing to know who's a loser and who's not).

And it can also automatically call out to the very best in high quality men.

There's one, simple secret to build a to build your own Magic Wall right now in under 1 second, and it takes no skill or experience at all.

Ready?

Here's how to build it: Stop chasing men.

It's that easy.

But if you are like almost every woman I mentor, you don't realize how you ARE chasing, which makes it impossible to stop.

And you don't yet see what chasing SAYS to a man, and the magic that happens when you stop (more below).

It takes a process of realization to see your behavior in a new way and to stop an unconcious, ingrained pattern.

So what's in store for you if you build a Magic Wall?

This is from a mentee explaining what having a Magic Wall feels like:

How To Build Your Magic Wall Part 1: Stop Chasing Men

This realization process of stepping back and recognizing patterns in your dating behavior takes Attractive Vetting down into the nitty gritty details of dating...

So, for a few examples of chasing, ask yourself if you've ever done any of these?

Driving the conversation
Initiating dates
Trying again with men who've ghosted you
"Double texting"
Trying to impress him, entertain him, or keep him interested
Setting the agenda of conversation
Suppressing your true feelings, needs, or desires because of how you guess he'll respond
Giving way too much detail or gushing in response to questions
Escalating physically prematurely, or compromising your standards
Overthinking responses to questions or texts
Trying to outsmart him or making "clever" plans to move the relationship forward

You might be thinking "Well, if I'm not supposed to do any of this, what the heck else is there to even do?"

If you're reacting this way, you're deep into a chasing mindset...

And I'm here to tell you Attractive Vetting holds SO MUCH MORE for you than you can even imagine!

But before we get there, you really need to get this:

Look at the man's unconscious perspective when you chase him: "She's reaching out to me, prompting me, initiating, prodding me to move, pushing me to take things to the next level. It must be because she doesn't think she's worthy enough for me to want to pursue her."

Ouch!

Chasing hides your innate attractiveness, and drives away high quality men.

It feeds into the "desperate vibe" women fear they give off. And in my experience, I would say 60% of women's experiences of their man ghosting or falling off the radar is because of this chasing vibe.

If a man does stick around (for a while), it's likely because he's a loser enjoying the free entertainment. But he'll bail once the pressure to take it to the next level gets too high, or he finds a more "entertaining" woman who comes with no strings attached.

Chasing finds only losers like this, and is a losing way find your Mr. Right!

Now you might be thinking, "How is this fair? Why can't I initiate if he's being slow?"

All I can say is sorry babe, I don't make the rules! I just teach what works to find a high quality man. But at the same time, I think as you continue to learn about Attractive Vetting, it will begin to make sense... and you might even feel more yourself than you ever have before (many of my mentees say this)!

So what to do instead of chasing?

How To Build Your Magic Wall Part 2: Attract Men

Here's how the conversation with many mentees goes at this point:

Mentee: Ok Leila, I see now I'm a chaser of men, so what do I do to attract instead?

Leila: You don’t do anything.

Mentee: What do you mean?

Leila: Just stop chasing.

Mentee: Surely there’s SOMETHING I can do instead?

Leila: Nope.

Mentee: That doesn’t make any sense. You want me to switch from chasing to attracting, right?

Leila: Not exactly.

Mentee: I’m not getting it.

Leila: Attracting is not a different thing “to do” instead of chasing. Attracting is BEING. You’re already attractive to men because you ARE a woman, so if you're growing in connecting with your feminine energy you're right where you need to be. If you want to think about “doing” things, don’t think about men. It might include some inner work and healing which we'll talk about, but it mainly means doing things that make you feel MORE yourself, and more connected with your feminine energy, more embodied with yourself.

Mentee: Ok like what?

Leila: If that's more time on your hair in the mornings, do it. If it’s making art, do that. Yoga, reading, coffee with friends, old hobbies and interests to pick back up, whatever. Just enjoy yourself! If you’re doing anything to try to impress or please a man, you’ve missed it and turned back to chasing. Men will be more attracted to you the more you aren't concerned about attracting them. Just be yourself, feel what you feel, live in the moment, and enjoy your life. They'll LOVE it!

So with Attractive Vetting's "Magic Wall," here's what dating looks like with NO chasing:

Being happy, smiling, warm, and at ease.
Being busy enjoying your life whether he takes 3 minutes to text back or 3 days
Feeling at peace when a man deselects himself
Leaning back and observing during conversations since you know he is the one auditioning for a place in your life (much more on "auditioning" in a minute)
Noticing what agenda HE is setting for conversation
Being in touch with how he's making you feel
Feeling at ease with positive and negative emotions, expressing your needs and desires honestly in the moment
Feeling playful and laughing, having fun with banter, mystery, and tingling tension between you
Expressing desires and requests (like "I'd like to be picked up") without expectation, and enjoying letting him meet them (this makes you MORE exciting to a man than trying to be "impressive" or "entertaining")
Generously expressing gratitude and excitement when receiving his attention, initiative, or gifts (this is like food to a man's soul)
Revealing your preferred sexual boundaries and standards and holding to them with total security
Feeling what's true for you, regardless of his mood
Being pleased and ready when he moves the relationship towards marriage

Can you imagine a loser man putting up with this?

He wants you to do all the work, he wants you to put on a show for him (until he gets bored).

So this "attractive," leaned-back posture feels like a million-mile tall wall he has ZERO interest in climbing, and he won't be bothering you any more once he gets one whiff of it.

And here's why the Magic Wall is magic: at the same time it repels losers, it ATTRACTS masculine, energetic men looking for a woman who knows she's worth winning.

Check out this text from a mentee in Denmark showing the Magic Wall in action:

Isn't that amazing!?!?

One loser down! Good riddance, thanks Magic Wall for saving her from a loser!

And one high quality man shows himself!

Magic Wall you are amazing!

The Magic Wall says, subconsciously: "There's a prize behind this wall. Come and see if you have what it takes to win!"

Masculine men are energized by a challenging goal so your attractive posture gives them a laser target to focus their competitive energy and efforts toward (they love this).

They'll want to WIN... YOU!

But now it's your turn...

...because the men that overcome your Magic Wall might be in a class above the losers, many might even be great and admirable men, but which one is "The One" for you?

"Vetting" is how to find out, and the simple mindset shift is really fun: